


Panic Attacks

by edeneatscrow



Series: Heartaches & Mistakes [Myler Oneshots] [1]
Category: Tell Me Why (Video Game)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Lemon, M/M, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:21:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26602129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edeneatscrow/pseuds/edeneatscrow
Summary: A story about Tyler having nightmares of that night. Michael is right there to be his shoulder to lean on.
Relationships: Michael Abila/Tyler Ronan
Series: Heartaches & Mistakes [Myler Oneshots] [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1949677
Comments: 9
Kudos: 34





	Panic Attacks

**Author's Note:**

> this oneshot includes a depiction of a panic attack, which may be triggering for some folks. just wanted to let you know from the get-go.
> 
> this takes place post canon. michael and tyler are not together at the start.
> 
> please note that i haven't yet finished the game, so don't comment any spoilers. i plan to finish either tonight or tomorrow.

Nightmares weren't uncommon, but they were never easy. Tyler thought that maybe the distance between him and Delos Crossing would result in better circumstances on that end, but he thought wrong. Alyson always suggested trying breathing exercises and meditation before bed, but Tyler had difficult times sitting still and focusing on the repetitive inhales without his mind drifting. 

Tonight was no different. Same shitty nightmare about that same shitty night. Usually, Alyson would still be awake to talk him through his initial fear, but not tonight. She had taken a month vacation to go visit Europe, a place she's longed to explore but never got around to until now. Tyler was totally and utterly alone. 

The boy woke up in a cold sweat, chest heaving as his heart found a home in his throat. It wasn't so much the nightmares that did him in; It was the panic attacks afterwards. His hands were clammy. The room was shrinking. The only sounds he could hear were his heartbeat and his own shaky hyperventilating. His knees navigated themselves to press against his chest, forming his figure into a protective ball as he tried to work through this on his own. 

Tears spilled out of his eyes, gravity willing them to the mattress and his own knees. Everything sounded like an echo of itself, melting into a distorted mess in his mind. He begged— pleaded —to whatever god may exist to make this end. To give his soul a rest. To let him breathe.

What he wasn't expecting was for the universe to respond. The bed dipped inward near the edge, and two warm hands were placed on his arms. Tyler had his head buried deep in his own knees, but he didn't have to look up to know it was Michael. "Ty, hey— Can you hear me?" the man asked quickly, which only made the lump in Tyler's throat grow bigger. "I-I-I'm f-fine, M-Michael—" The thought of Michael seeing him like this was something that made Tyler wanted to run and hide forever. It wasn't that he didn't trust the man with something like this, it was that he didn't trust himself not to drive his only friend away.

Michael ignored Tyler's attempt to reassure him, squeezing his arm soothingly. "Hey, I need you to do something for me, okay? Think of one thing you can see right now; Say it out loud." Tyler took a moment before lifting his head, still having trouble breathing as he looked around. "U-Uh," He started shakily. "The dresser." Michael nodded. "Good... Now something you can feel." 

Tyler wasn't sure what the purpose of this was supposed to be, but he was too weak to argue. "Y-Your hands." He noted, and his breathing started to level. Michael nodded again, scooting closer. "Something you can smell?" Tyler took a shaky breath in at that, immediately being hit with the scent of fresh pine needles. "The candle... In the living room." His shaking was subsiding, and his muscles began to loosen; As if the invisible bound that were holding him rigid had suddenly been cut. "Something you can hear?" Michael spoke again, tone gentle and quiet.

Tyler closed his eyes to focus, hearing the faint hum that echoed through their ventilation system. "The... air conditioner." His breathing steadied as well as it was going to after an episode like that, keeping his eyes closed to hide his shame from the man before him. Michael seemed to relax, too, seeing how Tyler was in comparison to moments before. "Good. You did really good." For some reason, those words only made Tyler more relaxed.

A silence fell between them, but it was far from awkward. Michael didn’t remove his hands from Tyler’s arm, but the boy wouldn’t complain about a source of warmth. There was just something about not being alone that made it easier to relax. 

Michael was the first to break through the quiet. “You don’t need to tell me what happened, but do you want me to stay?” Tyler glanced at him, still feeling the after effects of his panic attack. The proposition was enticing and petrifying all at once. It seemed as though Michael could sense the uptick in tension after the question was spoken. “I only mean do you need me here to make sure you fall back asleep. I’ll just be on my phone...”

Tyler took note of the boy’s current state. Michael was still in his work uniform, seeming just getting home when he saw Tyler crying. “You don’t have to say yes, Ty. That’s why I asked.” 

With a soft intake of air, Tyler nodded. “Just... for tonight. Please.” Michael only nodded, moving to sit comfortably next to Tyler on the mattress. Tyler took to laying back down, turning on his side and away from the man in his bed. It was the first night Tyler had ever experienced where falling asleep wasn’t painful.

* * *

What was supposed to be one night turned into a routine. Whenever Tyler would wake up, lacking air and cognitive brain functionality, Michael would be right by his side in an instant, doing his usual soothing exercise to calm his roommate down.

Since Alyson had been gone, it was hard for Tyler to cope. Having Michael was almost a Saving Grace. 

Some nights, if Tyler couldn’t go back to sleep at all, the pair would lay awake and speak about nothing in particular. Topics would range from their theories of life after death to what Michael did at work. 

There was one night in particular where they both decided that their brains wouldn’t quiet long enough to shut off completely, so they took to kindling a fire in the fire pit outside. It reminded them both of home, but the positives instead of the negatives. 

Michael and Tyler sat next to each other, shoulder to shoulder as the fire crackled before them 

“Scenario,” Michael spoke after haphazardly eating a molten marshmallow. “You’re walking through a forest, all by your lonesome. Suddenly,” He lowered his voice dramatically. “You start to hear the crunching of leaves behind you, growing closer and closer and closer until...” He suddenly made a loud noise, which made Tyler jump. They both laughed at his nonsense, and Tyler hit him roughly on the arm. “You’re such a dick.”

Michael rolled his eyes. “What do you do?”

The other raised an eyebrow. “What? If a random wild animal attacked me?” Michael only nodded in response. Tyler thought about it, staring into the flames that licked the air above the fire pit. “I’m not sure. If I didn’t have any means to protect myself or call for help, I’d probably just let it happen. I’m not taking on a bear.”

Michael scoffed at the answer. “That’s not very ‘Ranger Tyler’ of you.” Tyler snickered at the response, shaking his head at the man beside him. “I’m not a ranger yet, so don’t hold your breath.”

“I will, actually. I think you’d be amazing at the job. I’ve never seen someone care for wildlife like you do.” Michael countered, taking another marshmallow into his mouth. “There isn’t much in life you can’t do in my book.”

Tyler glanced over, this time seriously. “Why’s that?”

Michael shrugged, not meeting his gaze and instead taking to focusing on the fire. “Because I’ve never seen someone with so much willpower to overcome. Not just with your career. I’ve never met someone who’s as determined and strong-willed as you are. I... don’t think I could ever compete with that.”

The comment, though seemingly unimportant in passing, hit Tyler in the chest. He turned his attention away, going quiet as he laced his own hands together. Michael took notice, looking over with a soft gaze. “Hey, I didn’t mean that negatively, I—“

Tyler shook his head to stop the man. “It’s fine, it’s not you...” There was something about their friendship that seemed deeper than it let on. Just a faint, dull inclination of a connection that neither could define quite yet. 

It terrified Tyler for a number of reasons, chief of which being that he felt as though he would never be enough for the man. Never satisfy his desires for a relationship. He knew Michael was gay, and that should’ve been a good thing for their budding relationship, but the fear of rejection was deeply rooted in his chest. He would never be cisgender. He might never be able to afford all of the surgeries. Hell, he’d be blessed to scrounge enough to afford just one. 

The thoughts in Tyler’s mind wouldn’t quiet, no matter how hard he tried. He cleared his throat, standing from his spot on the chair. “I’m gonna get some sleep.” His tone wasn’t convincing in the slightest, but he hoped Michael would at least understand his position.

Much to Tyler’s relief, Michael nodded. “Okay. I’ll be out here if you need me.” Tyler took to going back inside instead of responding, knowing that there wasn’t a reality where he didn’t need him.

* * *

That night’s nightmare was different. It had never changed before, but it only seemed fitting that it would tonight. 

Tyler did his usual routine of shooting up from his laying position, helplessly being hit by a wave of perspiration and utter dread. His chest was tight and his throat felt as though it was closing on its own accord. For lack of better words, it felt like he was dying. 

As he’d done for nights before, Michael was by his side mere moments after he woke up. “Ty, Ty. Hey, it’s okay. You’re safe. Deep breaths—“

Tyler couldn’t help but expel the tears that were beckoning at his eyes. It was all he knew how to do. The only way he knew to relieve himself of the strain on his heart. 

Michael watched the man break apart at the seams, and in an instant, pulled him into a tight hug. Tyler was too delirious to object, face finding a home in the nape of his roommate’s neck. 

Michael took to rubbing his back, whispering sweet nothings into Tyler’s ear in an effort to calm the storm in his mind and body. “You’re safe... You don’t have to be strong for me.” And, in that moment, Tyler allowed himself to be vulnerable. He allowed himself to feel the weight he was carrying on his shoulder that’d he’d been ignoring. 

It was a long time before the sobbing ceased, but his panic eventually passed, replaced by nasally breathing into Michael’s shoulder. The man refused to let go, and Tyler didn’t mind. “I’m so—“

”Don’t you dare.” Michael murmured in soft sternness, pulling him closer. In that moment, only illuminated in the moonlight peaking through the blinds of his bedroom window, Tyler never wanted to pull away. And Michael didn’t plan on it.


End file.
